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Chipaway the years

When people wish you a happy birthday, do you chuckle and say, “today I’m 25!”, even though 25 was decades ago? Do wrinkles and sagging skin send you to your bed in tears? If so, Chipaway can help!

Simply make an appointment for our ten-minute (or less) in-office procedure. Our trained medical professional will insert a special micro computer chip under the nasal epidermis. Then, whenever you feel in need for a youthful boost, you simply call our hotline and we program the chip to do the work. You never need surgery!

For example, let’s say Martha has the chip implanted in May 2021, when she’s 30, to remove those first crows feet around her eyes. At age 40, when her jawline begins to sag, she calls our hotline, and within 24 hours, her chin is once again beautifully defined!

Our Premium Plan, which may be of interest to those who are a youthful 50 + years, includes as many full face lifts as desired, and again, no surgery is required! 

For pricing, call our Hotline at 866-hor-shit.

Warning: May cause diarrhea, blood thinning, constipation and feelings of despair